SIGH. i'm soooooooooo sleeeeepppy. it was so bad that i actually managed to fall asleep standing up. i was leaning on the glass panel in the mrt...then i closed my eyes...and then my knee just buckled (thank god i didnt fall >_<) and i realised i was a few stops away from where i boarded the train. *YAWN* .....even so...i cant sleep. YET. cos i got tons of work to dooooo~!!! i tot tat since thurs was drawing (xp he never gives hmwk) i could finally sleep early on wed. :( sob. how was i to know miss lee would suddenly ask to see me at 10 AM. Oh man. does she know how early i haf to wake up just to meet her at that time???....sigh. so yups. gotta stay up tonite to do her box and her scrapbook. SIGH. YAWN. SIGH.

thou art but cheese
this i refuse to believe
for such a dairy notion
might cast a dismal potion
over lovers at ease
gazers who miss
frienships that fizz

so i shall wait upon my rock
and stare while the winds mock
about my silly longing
that you would bring them coming
like a silly man farming
seeds he can't see
just for a delirious glee
a hint of hope
even so
i can't help but mope
about how long you're taking
gasp
surely you couldn't be faking

with a wince
i convince
for surely, there is a reason
people stare at you
perhaps to find out how they'd fare
but i'd rather think
its because i care

so when are you going to fulfil
this one-way promise?
only when my heart starts to vanish?

whew...gonna catch my breath for a moment here...been pia-ing my hmwk for almost the whole of yesterday...o_o onli slept aft 3 am...sigh. should learn my lesson by now and do some hmwk everyday...or every sunday would be like yesterday. O_o...25 pics and a shoebox. did the five pics of collages last..(around 2 am) so by then my fingers were spastic and i just tore wadeva paper was in front of me and stuck it onto the stupid piece of thin yet freaking expensive layout paper. this course is burning up all my money. i feel almost as if i'm burning those paper money at a chi funeral...just throwing and throwing and throwing the money in.

......talking about funerals...dont noe y...but the other day (think it was a friday..mm. yup. b4 i met with the 4d1 ppl for initial d) i started thinking about my grandpa (yeye) while i was in the train. he died in april...i just. kept thinking of him during that train ride. i thought...if i ever saw him again, what would i do? what do i say? funny thing was tat i could onli picture him really far away from me. like in the midst of the crowd, away from me. then i'd picture myself trying to catch up with him but never actaully able to. its funny how come he never seems to be able to stand near me, next to me. if onli we could just talk more. i'd tell him about god. yah...i tink just thinking of my non-christian friends n family not going to heaven with me disturbs me. i rmb when i was in the tabernacle at east coast durin the gb camp, at the place just before we enter into the sacred room (o.o is tat wad u call it?...oops. i forgot >..<), where u are supposed to sit n pray bout something tat u're really concerned about. i tink it was yeye's death tat realli got me so moved and caught up with saving the nonchristians....so yup. i prayed for all of them. i think i was really really touched then. just couldnt stop crying. i was crying till i shook...i've never felt his presence so strong before...^_^. To God be the glory, and may i shine for him. :)

hmmo. yesterday mummy said sumthin...um. how do i explain this? she said 'i'm so proud of you, yan yan.' although i was like '=/ ..? wad? ' but i think i roughly got wad she meant. haha. i think she's happy i'm an artist. (o.o more or less la hor.) okok. i'm an art student. ya...tat sounds more like it. i tink...she kinda likes it that i took this route. something diff from my frens and family. (my sis is studying life sciences in nus)..when i was still making my decision of going to nyp..i think she kinda doubted my judgement. it was quite obvious from the way she asked ques...like 'are you sure?..dont regret ok?' ...ya. =.=...BUt....i think tat now she knows i really made this decision on my own, and that i'm not just following my friends (T_T almost all in jc...'lonely~ i feel so lonely~ : mr akon x) ' ), and she's proud of me for doing ....not exactly good, but OK....in my course ^_^. yay~! haha. she's the sweetest thing ever. i'm sure she's my no.1 fan too x) ...haha! she'd go like, 'if you wan me to pay for ur materials...you must photocopy all the nice pics u draw and gimme ok??? if not, no money for u. '
haha. wad a weird mummy.
i'm lovin it~ x))

aaaah. got this craving for mac's ice lemon tea now...oo ya. i tink i had better rite down wad progs i haf on. o_o its so messy. tml, meetin clarence aft sch, wed: goin to watch 'a lot like love' x) , thurs: meet miss lee at 10am...o_0 hmm. where ah?...better rmb to ask chee hui or amos...& gonna do grp work aft tat, fri: meetin early to do angelina jolie stuff.
just hope that the time consuming assignments wld just stop coming. STOP STOP STOP.

oo ya. x) kinda happy the lecturer showed my colour theory assg to the ppl today.haha. god really blesses me~! to think she'd pick mine o_o when i wrote 'track 1' ...it was supposed to be 'track 4'....so my pic didnt actually suit the music...weird. and LOL. the funny part was that she said i harmonised my pic with a balance of cool n warm colours, where cool refered to blue. i was like o.o huh?? since when did i use blue in my pic?? it must have been black that she saw o.o. haha. can see she was kinda...crappin bout the pics she showed. =x don really like tat lecturer. speaks funny, and she goes 'duno'. isnt tat topic wad she's supposed to teach? how can she go 'i duno' ??....=/

righto. i shall go eat now. the food smells goood~

(>..< sometimes i wish i'd stop thinking about mr blueb)

and how can i stand here and not be moved by you?...

righto~ here goes. my first entry... =_= not tat this is gonna be realli interesting or wad. hmmo. i've seen realli awesome blogs...(like amanda's and sab's) but whoa. o.o. they must have spent quite a lot of time finding the pics and taking care of their blog...tats a nono for this lazy bum. just gonna leave it in black...n darling red for the words. no fuss...dont mind if i hurt u ppl's eyes a little.

lets start with the complaints. i got lottsa them. (sorry that i do...)i hated thursday's drawing lesson ( 23/06 )...o man. 3 hrs of drawing cubiods. in diff perspective. totally SUCKED. ok. not the lesson. me. i suck at it. o man. i'm bad enuff at drawin straight lines...n they actually had me to magnify my not-straight-at-all straight lines onto a A3 paper n form them into cubiods all connected n at diff. angles. i wasnt the only person who sucked at it...but from wad i saw. i can safely tell ppl this : I AM THE WORST AT DRAWING CUBOIDS IN MY CLASS.
goodness.....someone help me~!!!i know my lines are sketchy...kinda like them tat way. i noe i oughta learn how to draw straight and even (not sketchy) lines. but i couldnt possibly do tat on thurs durin the lesson..!! my drawings would haf turned into a monster and crawled out of the paper to haunt everyone else. esp the teacher n i.

ok...enuff with the complaints already. hmmo. i tink i really must thank shi qi...:p he's been sacrificing his precious sleep to entertain me via the phone cos i cant seem to fall asleep nowadays. esp yesterday. =_= ...shldnt haf slept in the bus ya. coudlnt fall asleep till 4+ in the morn. sigh. the drawings i did then were not good either. mite just redo them today. ...why do so many ppl haf to be in JCs?? if not i'd call them too. but for now...i don suppose i can call without feeling all guilty...they're probably all bothered n stressed bout their tests n stuff. i miss those ppl. the guys in my class now all seem rather shy. opening up now...which is gooood. beginning to wonder if they're really from co-ed schs. funny ppl.

hmmo. i wonder wad it'd be like if i were in a jc now. and NO. its not that i haf ever regretted my decision to go into nyp. (xp i think its one of my best decisions ever!) i was just wondering... you noe. i'd haf all the ppl i love around me.mei yin, hui zhen, kaili, wei hun, min feng,...etc. argh. it must haf been herman who made me think all these...i saw him the other day at jp at bout 5+pm...it was friday (24/06). wenta jp to catch initial d (jay chou is sooo cute x)! )...arrvied earlier cos i came straight frm sch..and met up earlier with audrey n fu wei. just as we were walkin in, this guy tapped my shoulder n softly went 'oei.' haha. he's sooo much taller than i rmbed. i knew he was tall,...but i guess the less i saw him, the more my brain shrunk his image to fit mine xp. yeah well. when i first looked, all i could see was a white shirt. had to look UP, then go " oh!!! herman!!! " . ha. kinda comical, come to think of it. found out he went there for PW ( haha. all his PW grp members lived in the boon lay area so he was made to come down to boon lay. the poor guy stays at bukit merah area, u see...). on msn the nx day we both agreed it was a pleasant surprise meetin each other. we havent seen each other in months!! always talked on msn, though. he asked to go out together aft his tests and all, and i agreed. haha. i'm clara-wan to him aft all. to cut the long story short, i'm now officially clara-wan cos he's my self proclaimed teacher on the subject of laming, and the star wars fever was in at tat point of time.
=S i wonder if he still likes tat girl...hahaha. so fun teasing him bout it n being his counsellor. hmm. i'm gettin good at this counselling stuff, all thanks to jing kai and dpang. haha.

hmm. yesterday was a normal saturday...minus the fact tat i got a suana bus for my 1 hr + trip to marine parade. T_T. totally sucked man. the worst part was tat i was sittin at the last row...so i could practially feel my arm burning up. it was a single deck bus too, so it was realli crowded and stuffy. yuck. may i never sit sucha bus again. oo ya. this poor guy...he was wearin a black, long sleeved collar shirt. of all days, he had to wear it yesterday when the toot bus was spoilt. and to tink sbs had our transport fares increased!!!!! ARGH. just to pay for such lousy buses and horrible service. ( i waited 1/2 hr for the idiot of a bus and i was onli a stop away from the bus interchange.)
T_T to think i'm payin adult fare too. SBS SUCKS. n why in the world are poly students not paying student fare but rather, adult fare?? such biasness. hmph.

this poly STUDENT is off to do her hmwk now.

biased money eating people.