ö ♥

clara.

animator.
loves jesus coffee & tea.

www.claraaa.com
www.claraaa.tumblr.com

hear hear.

links.

studio project sucks. sucks. sucks.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 10:10 PM

i didn't even work this hard for my o lvls =_=. this is terrible. ytd, i even woke up at 6am jus to do more work...and i slept around 2am the previous day. terrible. i look like a mix between a panda and a zombie.

a zombie whose mouth feels like the sahara desert. it all started on...fri i think, when i ate a whole pack of sour skittles followed by a big bottle of lime juice. my tongue proceeded to become all bumpy n a lil numb. tot it was fine till i woke up the nx day n moving my tongue and eating stuff like vege n oranges are a torture. i think i cut my tongue T_T terrible.i feel horrid. i'm drinking water like there's no tml but the thingy wont heal. argh.are there such things as tongue infections? o_o scared.

ok..enuff whining. i don't want to talk abt damn wallabies, chinatown, my tongue n my hurting tummy anymore. i need a break. i want to play, go crazy, go swimming, take more photos, swing :), love, buy a $50 skirt, draw draw draw ppl, be loved, give all my darlings a little sumthing becos they've been such good frens. dunno wad i'd do without them. gimme a hug! haha. random tot.

mmm! i've had quite a few wierd dreams the past few days. lemme start with teh game dream:

me, aman, fiona n yeehoong were a team, in a competition. the thing is, if you don't win a round, as in, you come in last, you'll die. sounds a lil dark, i noe, but it seemed rather cheery in the dream. it was not onli till i woke up tat i realised wad a horrid dream tat was.

well, there was a round in the competition where each member was supposed to swim, then draw a line across the breadth n length of teh swimmin pool (IN the pool of water). my team cldn't decide b/w an ink pen and a ball-pnt pen. not tat they'd both work in water in reality.haha. anyway, we chose teh ball-pnt in the end. the start signal went off, but fiona didnt jump!!! not till the rest of them were halfway thru the pool =_=....

but well, we didnt die. amanda found a secret to keep us alive. the scene abruptly changed to a dark corridor, where aman was squatting. there, she whispered the secret:

Dye your eyebrows the colour of your skin.

yeps. do tat n u won't die. haha. so odd :S

over the past week, i've come to hear of things...tat make me wonder.things abt first sis, the way he treats guys...and the way he treats me is so diff. he's so rude and insensitive(?) to them. the change is quite drastic, really :S. so i wonder, are most guys like tat? so 2-faced. sq was tellin me bout his frens in sp too. bout how they bhave when girls are not around. all dirty and stuff :S. terrible...its not onli first sis too. some of the rest act so differently too. like, even the way they bhave. alone, they can be realli nice, but in a bunch, they're a lil childish and :S. i miss ctss guys. i've onli come to realise aft entering poly tat they're actually nice and gentlemanly. xD ha!

also, i recently fell in love with the mohawk hyde xD ~!!!! **droooooooll**

o yea. i was supposed to tell you more dreams.bah. lazy la. ha.summary:
i dreamnt of clarence ytd (dreamt of our conversation on msn actually. haha. odd, dreaming of a computer screen :S), dreamt of aman n i squabbling over a strawberry shaped purse soft toy the day before, dreamnt of pang, sq n clar teh day before before. forgot the rest. i shld blog abt my dreams more often.

i think not. i'm gonna play myself crazy. haha. come, holidays, come!
just a few more days!

your move. :)

i am terrible.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:00 AM

i am terrible.
i did my thumnails and colour swatches and intended to colour print them in sch, but =_= terrible me forgot to save the damn things in my thumbdrive....so now i've just had a steely conversation with jimmy and i'm sittin in the freezing comp lab printing photos so i can do the dozens of thumbnails that jimmy wants and ranting rubbish with my numbed fingers. :( i'm such a loser. shit man. this A is gone. :(
terrible.

i just remembered sumthin nice n sweet tat happened ytd that i forgot to put into my entry ytd amidst of my fustration and despair.
daniel is a very nice guy. hahhaa.
ytd i went to his hse, with only a one-day before notice, to scan my drawings into the comp.i met him at the bus stop ( i know how to get there cos he lives just one bus stop before qy :) ) and he bought me a bottle of green tea!!! lol. cos he said his hse no nice cold drink for me, so he bought g.tea. he even apologised. i was like -.- doink. i was the one troubling him aft all....:) but wad a nice tot. haha. excuse my nonsense, but clara's a nutter for g tea n cheesecakes ~

:) i feel better.
happy nice tots are good for a bad day. (or rather....week...)
gimme more happy tots, ppl! xD lol.

love.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005 9:53 PM

this is terrible man. my studio project is really boring me to death. wallabies wallabies and china town china town. it doesn't help that jk is my teacher and he keeps tellin me "don't only rely on pictures." he just doesn't get it, does he...PICTURES ARE ALL I'VE GOT, damn it. freak freak freak. toot toot toot. yea. the nagging a** in me is tellin me to do my work but i just gotta rant. Argh. just wanna gif this project up. someone kick me.

in sum, clara is now angry and fustrated and upset at my dumb self.
i love my art, but. sigh. :(

so you sailed away
into a gray sky morning
now i'm here to stay
love can be so boring

talk about love. its beginning to irritate me, the way some people talk about love.they belittle it. they say they love the other party but have they even had a decent conversation about personal matters before? have they even seen all the faces of the other party and still accept them? nothing personal ok...i'm not sayin i can tell everyone what love is, but its definitely not what some people are doing. love doesn't fade off in a few months either. i used to think the older someone is, the more mature the person should be. tat's totally bullshit. why don't you just grow up and stop belittling love.

church is therapeutic i tell you x)))

Saturday, September 17, 2005 11:00 PM

amanda.....i realise you have a thing for this kinda 'facts about yourself' thingy. haha. so i shall oblige and do it since you put down my name... :) i'm so nice. wahahaha. x) don mind my bhb-ness.

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.

(1) mmm...i don't like to take phone calls when i'm doing my work / watching tv.
(2) i like sad sad sad sad songs, esp when its raining :)
(3) i think long telephone conversations are best held at nite, when its all quiet and the world is yours.
(4) my new love is instant coffee mixed with milo powder.
(5) my favorite fruit is durian x)))
(6) i don't really like cakes. the only cake i love is cheesecake. any type of cheese cake :)
(7) i feel fat. most of the time.
(8) i can't live without hugs :)
(9) i can't stand people who stare
(10) sometimes i can't stand my daddy's temper. short and loud, but easily put out
(11) i totalllllly cant stand ppl who give me the cold shoulder. GRRR.
(12) i am a christian
(13) i think that this 20-facts bout urself thing is hard T_T
(14) i have a huge forehead
(15) i used to dislike my lips. :) but i'm fine with them now
(16) i'm a spendthrift. totally.
(17) of all the ice lemon teas i've had, i like mac's the best
(18) of all the people i know, i like going shopping with audrey the best x)))
(19) i am short and stout.
(20) i can be really indecisive at times.

whew. tats teh end of it. haha. i took a looooong time to do this....so i don't think i'll have enuff names to put down.

anyway, today i went to......
CHURCH.
muahahhaa. it was realli good xD !!! dinner with the girls was happy too. didn't feel left out or anything. T_T someone commented i look like a sec. 3 girl T_T this face of mine...

well, i'm sure next week is gonna be tons betta than this week! :) can't wait to go out with mr knight. his treat. wahahhaa. The Longest Yard, mushroom swiss, here i comeee~~!!! x))

p.s aud: i'm still thinkin bout tat sweet skirt we saw at far east :( i wanna buy it!!! but where shall i turn to for $50? sob. such a pretty skirt. can't stop thinking bout it. haha. =x gosh. i sound phycho. its the stress i tell you. xP

headache sleeping.

Friday, September 16, 2005 6:02 PM

omg. i think i 'm the piggiest pig alive. either that, or i'm very sick.
i set my alarm today at 7.00am, but i woke up with my head throbbing, so i skipped sch.
woke up later at 11 + a.m., had lunch, then my head started throbbing again. so i just lay on the bed (at about 1+) and before i knew it, it was 6.

=_= so i practically slept the WHOLE DAY AWAY. T_T gosh. this is terrible.
onli good thing is, my head's better now. but!!! i had almost 20 hrs of sleeeep. terrible terrible terrible.
i think my week wont be so terrible anymore aft i've gone to church tml :) church is...kinda therapeutic. haha! seriously! maybe my week's so terrible bcos i ddint go church last week. :) :) :) :) :) i'm goin tmllllllll~~~~!!!!

i dun noe y..(maybe i'm doin too many wrong things nowadays :( ) but i don't feel God near me. Come back, Lord!!! i'm lonely :(

during my long sleep just now, i dreamt of colourful zebras. as in, they are no longer just black and white - they had all sorts of colours, red, lime green, blue for stripes and wat not. i dreamt that my bedsheet had a colourful zebra design, but if i rolled on a certain spot on the bed, everything will become grayscale. the stranger thing is, i invited fiona and aman to eat on my bed. haha! but when i placed the plate on my bed, that area of the bedsheet will turn grey.

i think i'm looking at aman's zebras too much, and doing too many colour schemes so that my subconcious is really all wonky and full of nthin but animals and colours.

:) i'm goin to church tml~!!!

terrible terrible terrible understanding.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 5:19 PM

its really getting into me. stupid studio proj.

tuesday.
went to the damned zoo to do research on our given animals, ( it was compulsory =_= ). and guess wad. the damned wallaby enclosure was down for renovation, so i have absolutely no chance of studying a real life wallaby. why didnt the stupid sch check first before making us go in????!! so there went my $12, and i'm lacking behind everyone else, cos they've all got their 3d animals there for them to draw. all i've got are flat 2d images from books. shit u. toot teachers. didn't let me change my animal either.

its unfaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrr. GRRRRR. Clara is angry. it's not even my mistake.

and i haf no idea wads rong with my brain. i feel so sleepy nowadays. even aft all tat chocolate i'm not hyper enuff. :( God, help me!!!
maybe happy weekends aren't tat good aft all. it makes the week aft tat terribly sad and irritating.

i'm thinking i shld just go confront 1st sis too. "just frens and nthin else. NEVER EVER anything else." xP bleah. i think it's just my terrible week, but he's getting more n more irritating. stare anymore and u can't blame me for wad will happen. argh.

just for you, mr bb : terrible terrible terrible.

absolutely not anymore. cos there's no understanding, only observation.

i don want to be the one who initiates.

Monday, September 12, 2005 8:26 PM

i went to watch red eye today :) it was reeally suspenseful! woots! lol. esp the part where she was in the room and trying to find out where he was. whew. scary sia. haha. but it was so fast-paced near the end tat even aft me n aman left the theatre we cld still feel the adrenaline in us, so we both were kinda hyper and grinning ourselves silly :) good movie.

i was super duper late today. (i was 1 hr + late for ....wad do u call tat. sumthin like self study period while waitin for jk to come see us) not tat it mattered, really. =_= he only came back aft lunch.

and i'm a foot into...depression? lol. i duno wad u call this feeling, but maybe its just the after effect of having such a overly-happy weekend. :( why must i be the one to kick it off? why can't you take the initiative....u irritate me! .. bcos it only matters to me, not to you, and i know you couldn't be bothered and you're not willing at all. get out and leave me alone. don't ask me anything.

happy ass.

Sunday, September 11, 2005 12:36 PM

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~

i think this is one of the happiest weekend i've had since sch started xD !!! let's start from the fabulous friday i had.
aft col. theory, i went off to somerset to meet aud darling, had pasta, then walked to far east for retaaiiillll theeerrraaappppyyy! muahahaha. was so happy cos i got 3 shirts and a pair of shorts. haha. 2 of the shirts were bought at 10+pm when the shop was drawin down their shutters, so its kinda like impulse buyin =x. i onli tried them on for like, 2 min, decided i love them, so i bought 2 similar shirts, just diff col. xD haha. i'm gonna wear the shirts to death. $24 for one tshirt =x who cares. ilovethemtobits.

we then walked to the forum, intending to eat cheesecake for supper. :( but alas, the shop was closed!!! so aud n i just got haagen dazs icecream n sat on a bench by the road and talked gibberish for a rather long time. haha. and while she ate her MCC (midnite cookies and cream :) one of the best flavors haagen has to offer) i told her bout my shit dream, which happened like a week ago (yea yea =_= clara's lagging, i noe).
the dream goes like this:

i had this plate of food in front of me, then i realised that hey!!! there's shit smeared on my food. instinctively, i began yelling at the culprit ( i think i dreamnt tat it was my bro xD haha). "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?? THIS IS SHIT YOU KNOW?! ON MY FOOOD!!!"

then all of sudden, mummy appears, and in her hand materialises a plate of shit. not the cartoon type, with the nice conical shape. the type tat comes out of ur butt. a small spoon appears in her hand, and she tastes teh shit.

"it's not tat bad, u noe. try!"

so in my hand a small spoon magically appears too, and i take a bite of the shit.

"mmm~! its really not tat bad!"

....yups. tats the end of my dream....

:) aud was luffing like crazy and aft tat, we all became a bit loony and luffed at the silliest thing. haha. and aud's quote of the day was:
"its nice being retarded with you." haha. :) i love you, aud dear! i miss you already!

sat was a good day too. i had almost 11 hrs of slp! haha! i'm such a piglet. i woke up finding my aunts and grandma playin mahjong in the hall, and on the table sat yummilicous nasi lemak my daddy made! his pandan rice is really fragrant, i tell you :) i ate more than my usual amount :P wahaha. gonna put on weight like crazy. aft a full brunch, i went off to cut my hair. i had this feeling that if i walked by the front entrance of je centre, i'm gonna meet someone i know. i intended to walk by the back, but :s oddly, my feet just brought me to the front. before i knew it, i was standing in front of kfc. haha.

and...my intuition was totally accurate! haha. when i was gonna reach my hair salon, i heard my nameee~!!! taddaaa~! xiao hun n min feng were there! xD omg. so happy to see them. i haven seen them in ages! xiao hun gave me a hug (so sweet! haha :) ) and we just stood there and talked on and on and i luffed till my head hurt. they tell me i've grown taller!! xD yay!...(was i tat short last time =_=...) we decided we'll never be able to talk finish, so i hurried them off to study...but not before i gave them a hug each! mf said "ta hen hao bao eh!"
i was kinda happy to hear tat at first...then suddenly o_o "is it becos i'm fat???!!"
lol. ms paranoid.

aft i cut my hair, ( my dad said no diff at all =_= ), i went home, then was whisked off to my grandma's bday dinner celebration. we went to this owen restaurant at turf city, and ooo! the food was really good. we had vege, chili clams, chili crab, butter prawns, and a lot of other stuff tat i can't rmb. the star of the dayy was of cos...

my grandma?

WRONG. haha. it was the bday cake! it was soooo cute la! it actually had mahjong tiles and dice on it! lol. even the top surface of the cake was made to look like the green felt of a mahjong table. haha. when all my cousins n i saw it, we immediately whipped out our cameras and took the cake at all the diff angles we cld think of. haha. xD so cuuuttttee~ the best thing was tat the tiles and dice was not sugar icing. they were white chocolate o_o yummilicious.

we were also thinking of planning a family holiday to genting. since there are so many of us, we were thinking of bookin the whole coach just for our family xD its gonna be so fun! all teh adults were in for it too, so now my sis and older cousin, cheryl, are planning the trip. :) it's gonna be great for family bonding. :)

thank you, God. :) **hugs God** haha.

u're not :) i am.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 9:30 PM

terrible, man. this is terrible. he told like, almost the whole class. =_= get over it, u toot. **kicks u**
well, good thing is, sam n all tat aren't so into me and 'the plan' anymore. whew. yesh, clara just wants to, and is good at, feigning ignorance. fake ignorance is also bliss, ok...

so after a hectic week of crazy last minute assg-rushing, i'm done. DONE. HEEEE xD ~!! at last la. i really felt all the energy drain outta me. on sat n sun, there was the movie analysis proj, tues was rushing the scrapbook n comm skills mugging, wed was too drained to do anything, and this morn i was desperately practicing my drawing of a human face. "understand THE FORM!!!" jimmy kang screams in my head. T_T sigh. sigh. sigh.

i did a horrible portrait of cheryl today for drawing assg 2 (its an exam, really T_T...)...didnt even look like her la. the face was too long, the nose was too round, and the hair,...looked like mine. =_= **kicks myself** goodness. not even sure if i can get a B for this. its impossible to get an A for drawing la, esp with jk around.i wanna get a bbbbbb. B for Blara.

...ok. lack of sleep is eating my brains up.
:) i'm only holding on to tml!!! goin out with dahhhling aud. :) !!! the dear girl wants to eat pasta, and i wanna haf cheesecake at The Forum for supper! haha. food makes me happy. clothes make me happy. :))))

i wanna cut my hair. but how? duno wad style i wan. cut cut cut cut cut. n i duno y i wanna cut. can't think of a particular reason...maybe its cos i wan more As?...T_T i don haf enuff to satisfy me. A for Alara.

mummy's goin off to china tml for a holiday. just her and her cousin and frens. its good tat they're goin for hols...but. i'm worried. :( duno if its taboo to tok bout it..but i had another dream of her dying. that's 3 death dreams already. pls pray for my mummy, tat God will protect her and keep her here with me.

i'm so bored. lemme rite more nonsense like my mind can't stop blabbering. o yea! on wed, i was rushing to mount my card, and sealing it with wax...cldn't haf done it if not for my 2 daahhhlings! xD aman n fiona were like my superheros for the day. haha! they were blocking the wind for me, helping me use up a whole box of matches, helping me paste dbl sided tape on my card, lending me penknifes, dripping wax like crazy for me, helping me buy my mounting stuff, bla bla endless bla. saaannnkk uuuuuuuu :) !!!

oh, and i'm so into peacmaker now xD haha! hijikata is so amazingly cool!!! i love him. the way he says 'no', the way he walks, and his pretty long hair. :) **glomps hijikata**

u noe wad? i already know what i want for my bday, which is like almost 2 months away. haha. :p.
i wan.........................................................................................

a big big hug. :)

early in the morning T_T...

Sunday, September 04, 2005 9:11 AM

can you believe it? its 9am on a sunday and clara is already alert and awake, sitting in front of the comp rushing her u.media assg. T_T this course is really kicking me off my fat bum and getting me workin man...sucks.

anyway, woke up feeeling reall good today :) hehe! cos i'll be goin over to my daaaaahling's hse soooon! prob early aft. needa borrow aud's scanner :p. she's so nice and kind. don mind me barging into her hse to use her scanner n makin lotsa noise in her hse. hehe~
wonder if she's still into apple tea or if her craze has shifted back to green tea already...hmm...

okok. updates. i shall start with friday. xD ooo. great day i tell you! haha. aft col. theory ended at 4, aman fiona n i had the urge for sundaes, so we happily sat at macs and had our ice cream although it was a rainy day. we just complained on and on about the guys in our class (or rather, the lack of guys). but yea. hehe :) felt good letting all ur complains out.when we were done, it was already 5. so it took us almost an hour to eat sundaes. haha!
aft tat i made my way to the queue for bus 76...T_T...it was a one hour ride to marine parade. and guess wad i was going there for?? to eat fish & co.!!! wooooots~!!! haha. we cellmates (o_o i sound like a prisoner...okok.church frens) were there to celebrate rachel's bday. i felt pretty..iduno? left out? at the beginning..cos sab was talking to this girl sherlyn who knows sab's frens so they sorta clicked instantly and poor me was by myself. but! tat didn't last for long :) along came aini and the rest so clara was lonely no more. haha~

lets move on to the food. u ppl will all be jealous. haha! i had fried calamari, grilled calamari, the classic fish and chips (or rather, i chose rice. i think the chips there suck =_= they're like all fat and cold and tasteless), ate a bit of sambal dory and had more than a few pieces of chocolate brownie (yeah. i just put on like a ton aft eatting all tat T_T the choc brownie was made by jenna belinda and angelina. o_o they are damn pro la! i can't even bake cookies without burning them T_T pathetic.) we stuck trick candles in the (cake) brownie and sang happy bday for rachel, and had a great time watching rachel trying to blow the candles out. lol. i think they even made a videeo of it. haha!

the fried fish grew a lil boring aft a while, so i ditched it aft eating 3 quarts of it. sab ate them all up for me. haha. she has this humungous appetite and she's still so skinny. T_T hmmm, and i can now conclude that the grilled calamari in fish & co. is AWESOME. really good. i personally feel its better than the fried.
o ya.i saw someone carrying this red crumpler bag and it reminded me of the pathetic state my sling bag is in. T_T i wannnnnnaa gooooo retaaaaaiiillll theeeerrraaaapppyyy.

as for yesterday....what can i say. i feel like a geek. just sat in front of the comp from 1+pm till 11 pm doing my movie proj. haha. it makes me wanna watch Howl's Moving Castle all over again. its a show u'll never get bored of. All hail the great Hayao Miyazaki!!! :) brilliant genius. All hail Miyazaki!

random tot: i wanna watch Be With Me. :)

i'll always love yeye :)

Thursday, September 01, 2005 10:10 PM

aloha, all you beautiful people!!!
weee~ haha. clara feels high. cos.....i got my pay todaaaaayyy xD hehe.!!! ok. tat was not the real reason i'm happy. the real reason clara is happy is......................(drum roll!!!)

i'm happy cos i got retail therapy today. hahahaha. xD. yeah. even though it was just for art materials, it still makes me feel reeeeaaal good xD hehe~ oh gawd. i tink i'm becoming some sort of a dork. T_T i feel good spending money on art materials. ("where are my clothessssss???" my inner greedy poogie woogie screams.)

anyway, was thinking on my way home. :( i'm trying not to be too mean to ahem. argh. but he just irritates me soooo. not sure if its just me being paranoid and overly-sensitive, but i can feel ahem staring at me. ARGH. stop it, u toot. just be urself. i just wanna be frens. n it gets worse when he sends me silly smses askin silly things. even when i don reply ahem can still send me another sms askin something else. =_=...like, er, where's ur hint-sensor ??! if u even had one in the first place.

ok. i'll try not to be mean. but will someone pls install hint-sensors in ahem??? he's irrrrriiiiiittttttaaaaaatttttttttiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg. if i don reply its like..so mean n rude. but if i reply ahem will reply back with another ques. =_=. eeeerrr. i mean, yeah, sure. i'm into smsing, but askin silly stufffff????? i'm already exceeding my bill. i don't think i need ur help.
eeee. clara must not be mean. '_'

drawing today...was a wee eety bit tense. for me, at least. jimmy kang was obviously growing more agitated at the retardedness of our drawing skills. he kept calling us back to gather round him so he could teach us how to draw the human head again and again and again. :( clara is trying very hard already~!!! sigh T_T to think we only have a week to prepare for drawing assg 2. clara's energy is oooooooozing outta her hair.

no wonder my hair's gettin all dry. and i'm still thinking and thinking and thinking about. yeah. =_= not ahem. i'm thinking bout the other ahem. i think i'll just wait it out. time gives the best answers. o yeah. and my parents are all lovey dovey. i love it :) haha. oh yeah. i keep seeing things that remind me of ye ye nowadays.
firstly, there were those slippers i saw outside my house the other day. my first thought : "yeye!". Second thought: "stupid clara." they really looked like my grandpa's!!!!!!!!! black leather slip-ons. :( turns out they were my uncle's.
then there were the noses i was drawin ytd. my grandpa had this really huge nose where the ball of the nose was particularly obvious.
then there was that grandpa and his little grandson walking down the overhead bridge today.
and the small man tous (a kinda biscuit..u noe, tinier than ur nail, sweet, and kinda disintergrates in your mouth). he always bought that for us when we went to jurong east central. there used to be a biscuit shop there. really traditional. u choose ur biscuit, they weigh it for u, and charge it accordingly. the shop has been replaced by a spectacle shop since my sec. sch days.

i love you, yeye! muahx! i miss you.