you had me at hello.

i just watched the movie: Cowboy Bebop, Knocking on Heaven's door. it's really...thought provoking. i usually don't like this kind of movies, where everything comes to an end only at the end, and it leaves you so sad (for no particular reason, really) and you just want to sit here, listen to some rainy songs and silently wonder abt the world.
But. i really liked it. The animation was close to flawless, really smooth, really good camera angles, really good mood. It's very cosmopolitan, with indie music even. How they all come together really amazes me, and i'm really...moved. Not the type where it makes you want to cry. It's the kind of movie that makes you want to continue sitting where you are and remember the characters, feel lonely for them and suck in the whole mood of the movie. T_T i feel so.

the other day, someone asked me an interesting question. "What do you want to do now?"
"Now?" i thought. Really, there are many things i want to do. i started flooding him with many mundane things till he gently told me, "No, with your life."
So now i've tot of it, and this are 2 things i really wanna do:
1. Live a Christian Life
2. Be a crazy good designer/animator/painter/bla...
*_* so for now, these will be my priorities in life.

some shots from the Cowboy Bebop movie. it helps that the main character is kind of cute. bwahaha :P


this somehow reminds me of a scene from "Heist"



you had me at hello, i'd like to say x) ba.

**BAPTISM DAY !!! - 28th April 2006, Friday :) **

wa! xD what a wonderful day ytd. i tot at first the first part of the day wld be terribly horrible, with 6 hrs straight of maya, but it wasn't that bad :p
but the part that really made my day was the whole baptism service! i invited my dear suntec gang to come support me and most of my darlings turned up x)! aww. i love you, ppl! thank you so much for coming :) it was a special day to me!

so yeap, went on stage together with everyone else to give a ten-second testimony as to how Jesus is special to me: "He knows me better than anyone else, and i feel that's very special! Praise God. :)"
that's wad i said. haha. a little weird talking in front of so many ppl. aft tat, wobbled up the upper room to wait for my turn to get baptized! there were 29 ppl in total, i was the 27th x)

the baptism pool looks really nice. haha. like a small swimming pool made by filling a glass balcony up with water. well, took off my specs, went in (waist deep), and i cldn't really see well, so i just vaguely waved at this row of beige below which i assumed were my dears. haha. then poof~~
came up drenched, cold and happy. haha. it's like, ah! a mark in my walk with God :) finally! i'm baptised x)

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." - Romans 6:1-5

hooray! it really felt like my birthday ytd, which is also technically correct, since baptism is supposed to symbolize your old self being washed away and a new you being reborn (spiritually). wa xD it was really....special. how else shld i put it? haha. it's difficult to put in words.

aft baptism, i changed into a new set of clothes, went down and aft service, i got flooded with presents! xD wahaha. 3 bunches of flowers, a cd, a necklace, and baby food! lol.


and...i duno if it's a girl thing or what, but it always feels soo soooo extra good when i get flowers! haha x) on top of that, they were daisies, sunflowers, lavender, (and is that rosemary?...)!!! haha. so i cldn't resist and snapped at my flowers like crazy once i got home. hehe :p



aud was really sweet too! she wrote me a super long letter abt how much she loved me (hehe) and gave me this keychain tat was originally attached to a pencil. i once commented that the keychain is so cute, but it'd be such a waste to buy the whole thing cos the pencil sucks. so she went to buy the pencil and gave me the keychain x) awww~~

well, went to hug my mummy and papa and everyone else i know, actually. haha. i felt it was very positively emotional. my mummy looked so proud of me. haha! and then! she gave me money to treat my friends to supper. wahaha! to think i was only left with 15 cents, and i was praying somehow i'd get money! somehow. praise God for mummys x)

and of cos, photos on my special day!
in auditorium light...

...and with flash! haha.

had a great supper with you ppl! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!! xD xD xD **high~!**
thank you suntec gang :), really.
thank you, God x)!

p.s. my daddy really loves you, mei yin. this morning he reminded me to make sure i invite you to my wedding as my bridesmaid. and he wasn't joking. doiiink~~. lol. if i even get married, in the first place. bwahaha xD

OBSESSIONS.
i realise something about myself. everytime i stop obsessing abt something, it's because something else has replaced it. there's never once i'm not obsessed with something.
right now, i'm obsessed abt getting a tablet, mostly cos i've been obsessed with testdrive's art, which is actually a very beautiful mix of style of kazuya minekura's & nanae chrono's, both whom testdrive is really obsessed with. what a wonderful surge of obsession.
I'M SO TOTALLY OBSESSED. RAWWWRRRR.

obsessed:
1- having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something
2- influenced or controlled by a powerful force such as a strong emotion
**__** brawwrr.
so every now and then, my idle hand drifts into a pencil-holding position and i wonder when i can get a tablet. i made my decision a little too slow to get the sch's, but i'll just get it from simlim anyway.
but then of cos T_T i guess i'll first have to improve my drawing before i can draw like testdrive. how forgetful my hands are. just a few weeks from drawing and it already forgot. baaaa. T_T i'm so horrible now. (yes, i realise i'm a teeny whinier nowadays T_T)

so i think i shall now go down and jog away all these stuffed emotions. this hope of drawing well and the fact that i currently can't. can you believe it. i'm gonna go jog. i'll be huffing on my third step, but at least it's cool today. ba. all i do is sit or stand or walk nowadays. i'm an unhealthy mangled blob and i think my butt might actually go flat from all this sitting. baaaa.

"Everyone's reminding me.", or so i tell myself. But really, you're the only one tormenting yourself.

so! today i went over to aman's hse, supposedly to revise maya, but i ended up getting her to watch this anime called Ouran High School Host Club on you tube with me.
(and i in turn got 'introduced' by testdrive of deviantart. i'm just so in love with her art i read her blog and just abt anything to do with her too. wahaha. i sound a little like a stalker =x...shhh)

well, its a ridiculously dramatic anime, and being so dramatic it just makes you want to laugh. haha. but shoujo shoujo! i'd think guys mite get a little bored. haha. i'm not sure if it's just cos i always feel bored before i watch it, but some scenes are really hilarous. just up to ep.3 now :) i hope more comes out sooooooon!

Running five thousand miles
And running short on air
One hundred litres of adrenaline
Making my body go at full power
Coming this far should be fine, right?
How far would be okay?
The trees that adorn this town
Keep changing their appearance
The completely changed whiteness
The never-changing weakness
I want to trust in who I am right here right now
There's nothing fake
My resolve is fading!
Start! From that moment on
The world must have expanded!

twist of fate! *_*!
just so happened that the motion graphics module was shifted up to 3-6pm on tues, which clashes with my drawing class. however, motion graphics class cannot be changed to another timeslot, so me & mada had to leave our main grp to join another grp for drawing class...
AND! turns out the group Mr Eric had us go into is grp 9! ...meaning: the Sheridan lecturer will be teaching us drawing lessons! *_* so ok. now i'm not so sure i really want him to be teaching me drawing anymore...lol.

i mean! it's scary o.o i bet he has expectations that our abilities are tantamount to that of his students over at canada. there's a reason why he used to teach 'special' students instead of us normal ones *_*...

anyway, ytd was a terribly werrible qerrible day. i was asked to work at The Heeren, and the crowd was good, if not, TONS better than anywhere i've worked at before. And i worked so hard! i only ate 3 cookies for lunch, and stood and approached ppl by the booth the rest of the day. 4 other ppl were workin with me. 2 of them went lunching and shopping for HOURS, and the other 2 were like me. so why is it that the 2 like me had 30 over sales, the two that went shopping had 20 over, and i had less than 20?! LESS THAN 20!!!!!
i am so boggled :S. i know the girl looked sweeter than me T_T but surely not everybody is superficial T_T? the guy was very persuasive, i know T_T but still. wad's with the 2 shopping girls? almost 30 too, their sales...did i have something on my face? =_= i know i had chocolate on my face aft i ate my cookies, after which james nicely wiped it off for me but still =_= how come no sales ytd?! so terrible, and it feels so much worse when you know you're workin hard. i must be the ugliest promoter they've ever seen or something T_T sob...
so after a terrible day, i wobbled off to popular to see if a brand new shiney sketchbook cld cheer me up a bit, only to find popular closed already....**mope mope** tell me, did i have a terrible day ytd or what?

so yea...wobble wobble home, and a hunk was waiting to cheer me up. hehe! i had no idea.
till i switched on the tv.
then i saw Hugh Jackman staring at me with those eyes deep in thought, and a cheeky smile lingering on his face. **squeel!** hurhur :P so beautiful

but yea! today was a much more wonderful day :D went to church with desmond and my grandma went to the chinese service too xD! she's been a staunch buddhist all her life, but today when the pastor made the altar call (the pastor says something like "If you need bla bla/like to accept Christ, pls come forward. We'd like to pray for you."), my grandma raised up her hand and went forward! woots :D ! But well, she's still holding back a little, asking who's going to settle all my grandpa's and grandaunt's prayer stuff if she becomes a christian. still, it's so exciting xD !

and she just talked to me cos she's stayin over tonite, sayin how it was so touching, and how you shld pray to Jesus if you need help! and saying that with a smile on her face x) it's making me smile too! haha. I hope my gramma finds the love i've found too x)

more exciting news! on our way to expo, desmond met his senior on the train. so goes the conversation:

Des: "Hey! What are you doing here?"
friend: "Oh! I'm going to church. My father's a pastor there."
me: "o_o oh? what's his name?"
friend: "I'm a Khong."
me: "*****___________****** (silently) omg..."

for those not familiar *_* Pastor Khong is like the senior pastor of my church! the head of the church. the biggest pastor who goes ard doing magic of love, the spook show, like, our biggest pastor! *_* amazing. and every week when we're asked to pray for Pastor Khong and his family, a family photo flashes on the screen. lol. and desmond's friend, is, yes, on the screen everyweek.
i felt a little like i was meeting a celebrity. lol. so yea. wad an exciting day today x) totally erases yesterday x)

-_- have you ever gone into your hse through the window...like a theif?
well, today's my first. i came home only to find the front gate jammed, so my maid had me go to the wash area window, opened the grills, pass me a shaky high stool, and had me climb in with my long skirt. sure felt like a theiving expedition...

i feel so stoned after my nap. i feel too lazy to go to work tml. i feel i shld get more rest (while i can) aft listening to what Mr Eugene said today. i feel like napping more. i feel i probably don't need a second computer anymore. i feel glad i bought orange juice today. i feel sad all the mangos are gone.

wa wa wa. the new drawing module sounds challenging. ppl with clothes! or rather, costumes to be exact. Mr Jiunn said the sch bought thousand over dollars worth of costumes - from work clothes to cowboy costumes! (and *ahem* daniel immediately thought of it as brokeback special edition...just makes you wonder what goes on in his mind...)
ba. and to think this sem the models are gonna be really cool body builders and the sch had to make them wear clothes! just as everybody was getting excited over drawing actual muscles. (last yr's models were all either too skinny or flabby)

wee! this is all so exciting! not to mention the tip-off from a senior that we might actually be able to go to new york for 10 days for a sch trip!!! xD is this a great year or what x) oh oh, Mr Jiunn also mentioned abt Sheridan College, the place where animation powerhouses like Pixar go to hunt for employees, getting cheryl, mada & i all excited. hmmm...that shld be my new goal x) heh heh. He also mentioned something abt a Sheridan lecturer coming over to teach drawing...prob to grps 8 & 9 **grumble grumble** T_T i'm grp 2...

i was supposed to start my exercise routine today. Not to mention my drawing today...and my read-up on maya...and my read-up on xhtml scripting...T_T well, i shld go do my work now... (sneaks off to watch bleach :p)

mangos again after dinner.yum.

right now i'm having yet another bout of this obsession i had last sem - i'm crazy for my own table. T_T i sound quite pathetic, don't i? for those who are unfamiliar with my hse, what the whole family does is actually do our work on this huge wooden table in the living room. the thing is, my parents are getting old and the wake up so easily -.- esp my daddy. just switching on the main lights for tat giant table (4 white lights) can wake him up already. yes, even if he closes the door. how unreasonable. (i know i sound selfish. let me be selfish here, ok, because i can't say these things to his face.)

so yea. i get scolded everytime he wakes up cos of the light at 3am or something and can't get to sleep aft tat. like, what! i can't choose to stay up to do my work? it's not like i'm playing, for goodness' sake -.- so, tat's my explanation for my obssession for my own table - in my own room. the problem is, where to put the damn table? there isn't space with my *toot toot* brother sleeping on the other side and his toys taking up a whole lot of space. i mean -.- come on. you're sec.3 and still playing with toys?! RARR. i feel steam coming out of my ears and it's weird cos no one has offended me recently. my daddy's been so nice this evening. RARR.

well, if i'm gonna fit a table in, i'll not only have to buy a table, i'll have to buy a loft bed too, so i can fit the table under it. i'm obssessed! surfing the ikea site now. this obsession came back a few hrs ago. after my mango. T_T i want a laptop too. and a tablet.

and just abt everything nice in this stupid, tempting, greedy world.
selfish me. is it really bad? is it really bad to want all these? to want to be like testdrive of deviantart (my favourite character artist ever)? is it wrong to want a tablet, a computer, a whole day all to myself and do what i like?

ah, just as me and mada were talking abt it over breakfast.
i came home and found my fridge stuffed with mangos xD mangos are the best fruit EVER.

*turns on big shiney eyes* "I wanna eat a mango!" i say to my maid.
and tada~~~!!! i get a whole mango to myself x) hehehe. good thing my sis is not ard, no one to still mangos from me! hehe.

and i don't like it when ppl cut my mango out for me into cubes. i like to scoop my mango out from its skin. all you need to do is to slice it twice so that the mango is split into 3 - 2 sides and a centre. then, cupping one side in your hand, scoop a spoonful of cold mango and put it in your mouth. slowly chew and enjoy as it bursts sweet and a tinge of sour all at once! then contiune scooping...almost like scooping mango pudding, just that this time, it's 100% mango. yum. after i'm done with the sides, i grab the centre seed portion and slowly nibble off the flesh from the seed (o.o best done at home). yum. there's no better way to eat mango then this.

and now...there's really no mango left in my mango skin & seed aft i'm done with it x) yum. the predator gets her prey.

YAWN. i had to get up at 6.20 just to get to sch by 8 T_T *weeps** so sleepy! i think it's a good thing after all that i only have three 8am slots...

well, today i learnt xhtml! i tot it was rather interesting although they merely thought us basic stuff cos...well :S i guess i really knew nuts abt xhtml at first :) and turns out that this sem, when we do our studio project, our portfolio's gonna be digital and we'll have to make a site for it. i'm counting on you, shi qi, to teach me lotsa impressive stuff ok! haha. may this be a good year x) !

whoa! been so long since i last blogged :) let's start with friday (*14/04)!

whoo :D awesome day! met up with aud at abt 1 plus to buy picnic stuff T_T but it rained, so we decided to go have dinner together with the extended suntec gang instead (minus kali -.-). in the end we decided to eat cheapo dinner at the food court at bugis. why bugis? so we cld take neoprints!!! wahahah xD so pretty, all the neoprints :D ask me to show it to u!!! and aww. been so long since i last saw everybody (excluding aud. i see her like, almost everyday this hols. i wonder how i'm gonna survive my sch term when i see her only a few times a week)
*_* i miss you all already, beautifuls! *_*
so fun! we were doing all sorts of stupid poses like looking shocked, and we even did a kailiang look ( a -_- face )cos he always nv smile in the other neoprints. so we did his face so he wldn't need to smile...and in tat neoprint he smiled... =_= extraaaaaa.
aft neoprints, some ppl had to go back sooo early la -.- so only meiyin, aud, sq, hz & me were left. hz wanted some coffee bean so we all wobbled there and gossiped there till the last train was abt to go. haha. so fun! haven talked like that with them for soooo long! haha. we gossiped abt everybody :p but, i really wldn't call it gossipping...more like updating each other abt old classmates. hehe xD
bwwwwwaaaaa i miss you all already!

then i caught the last train to yio chu kang and went for the stay over at rachel's! saturday was a pretty ok session, not entirely the most fun but good bonding time :D we were supposed to go play bball but it rained T_T...oh! food was good. haha. we had vegetarian beehoon for lunch, and YUMMMY JALAN KAYU ROTI PRATA for dinner xD !!!muahahahhaha! it was so so so good.

then easter sunday came and i obviously went to church. God's presence was really there *_* cried like a waterfall and i had no tissue T_T boohoo. i must have been dripping like a wet dog. but i wldn't exchange that experience for anything :)

now its monday and! hurhur :0 i didnt have lessons cos it got canceled. so tml wld offically be the start of YEAR 2 IN NYP x) brrr. i still wanna slack, but i'm also feeling a little excited abt the things i'm gonna learn and the ppl i'm gonna meet. i sure hope my new classmates are nice o_o ! is it right to say i'm both hesitating and anticipating?
... x) *sigh* a content sigh

ELEVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here
At the corner of your lips
As the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
I and I in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind

Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

I and I in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Love
Lift me up out of these blues
Won't you tell me something true
I believe in you

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

I and I in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Elevation
Elevation
Elevation

ELEVAAAATIOON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!