when you wake up sounding like a man, your back aches more than it did ytd, & cupboards don't seem to be standing very steady, you know something is wrong =_= i can't believe i missed 3d modelling AND animation!!!!! rar! they are the worst tutorials to miss cos they load you up with so much information it isn't easy to catch up even though you just missed ONE.

i'm feeling much better now aft sleeping on panadols, then amanda woke me up to tell me bad news abt our 1 file cd =x (good thing she's gonna burn another one? =x =x =x). so now that i'm awake and the monitor is workin (Hallejulah!), i'm gonna do wad i'm supposed to have done by now.

ok. back to work aft i wrap myself up in blankets.

IAMGONNA RUSH FINISH ALL MY
.2DANIMATION. 3DMODELLING. MOTIONGRAPHICS. WEBDESIGN. 3DANIMATION. PORTFOLIOWORKS.
SO I CAN GO TO BOSTON IN PEACE.

There is a secret thread that makes us friends
That speaks of other; more important ends
There are two hard yet tender hearts that beat

Take always my hand at special times
Take always my dark and precious rhymes

That sing so brightly when our glad souls meet

- by Walter Dean Myers

...i feel america that is so dangerous!

*_* we had yet another briefing today, in the conference room where really pretty watercolor paintings hung on the wall. the whole atmosphere was so funny in the room, cos Mr Eugene is really a rather good joker. Use the useless conference books for protection against gunshots eh o_o?

he was talking about doing laundry in a chinese laundry shop and talking cantonese to the shop owner, buying bread from the grocery and living off it to save money in tat crazy expensive country...lol. and he says Starbucks coffee still costs $5 there. US $5. T_T i'm gonna have to survive on instant coffee now! and he was talking abt packing light cos we'd have to run abt with our luggage and go to chinatown to take a chinese bus to boston from ny cos it's 20 times (like, literally) cheaper than the bus(small plane. at US $2000, i bet they were planning to have us ride fighter jets =_=) we planned to take.

i'm so excited (\*_*/)...and so worried abt all of us at the same time. all the memories of big burly ang mohs walking past us with humungous strides when i was in Europe came rushing back. It's a really big difference, our size and theirs o_o hmmm.

to think aman & i were thinkin of bringing skirts. not anymore, having to lug our luggage ard :D haha. it sounds fun. like we're going backpacking together :D my first trip without my parents! to america, at that :D with friends too :D and being able to go to Siggraph :D God, I'm so blessed! Thank uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! xD wahaha. getting really hyped up now! ** mentally makes a to-bring list already. MOISTURISER. lol. i rmb how we ran out of moisturiser on my europe trip during winter and my ugly scaly leg was just flaking in my jeans. bleahk **

BOSTON & NEWYORK !!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

and oh yes! my church camp at sentosa! :D it was great fun, bunking together with pea's girls and my grp's. honestly, i see us as one :) haha. we're always together, anyway. the food was good *_* i've changed my mind abt camp food *_*
(and and and! i finally got to meet sabrinaaaaaa! been aeons since i last saw her :D so glad to see you, pretty!)

anyway, during tribal time, I TOOK THE LUGE RIDE ( :D do u hear tat SQ?!) :D bwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaa. it was so damn fun!

the ride up reminded me of the things that bring you up ski slopes :D and of cos, there's the ride down. its just this cart with wheels and no engine, cos there's no need for it since the ride is downhill. then off you GO! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH down and screech tight turns on the bends and down down down!!!!!!!!! like, omg. adrenaline rush. lol. it really is addictive sq! lol. too bad we didn't have time, so we only got to ride once. but i'm definitely going back! then at night we played this thing called the 'see-saw'. it's really a giant platform, and we ran about from one side to another just to get the thrill of going whoosh down xD i love my cell mates! hehe!

then magic bonding time as we all concussed on our bunks. woke up to go over to our old Marine Parade church building for morning worship and sessions, then had YUMMILIOUS brunch at Roland Restaurant *_* the sliced boneless fish was heaven, and so was the lotus soup, the kai lan, the sweet and sour pork, the claypot chicken (if tat's wad u call a chicken wrapped in aluminium foil drowned in dark gorgeous gravy is called). didnt i tell you my camp food is good? lol. *_* gorgeous.

aft brunch, we went off to church, and i'm secretly very happy for someone, but i promised to keep it a secret, so i'm not gonna say much here :) I'm really glad you took this step of faith. May you experience His love like i have!

xD i'm so blessed. Praise God for He is great xD !

:D i loved this the moment i saw it!!! :D
last night, i dreamt i was going to boston and for some reason, they wanted to take my weight at the airport. i stepped on the weighing machine... o_o the woman wrote 48kg and circled it in red.
lol. nightmares! i rmb thinking "OMG I PUT ON weight overnight!" hahaha. and then for some reason the woman showed my weight to amanda =_='''. hehe. of cos aman still loves me aft i get fat :p
it was a funny dream :D haha. haven't had funny dreams in a while, can't seem to rmb my dreams nowadays
:D boston!
(fhoot u lousy planners in nyp! roaaaaaaaaarrr. i'm gonna miss rafting cos of the stupid last minute briefing this evening :( :( :( :( :( )

it kind of clung in the air for a while after my brother said it.
like how mud clings, so comfortably cradled at ur toenails, you feel disgusted and sorry all at the same time.(and i'm feeling even more sorry now cos my mum's blasting disgusting outoftune singapore idol)

"I'm always treated differently!"

it all started when my mum caught my bro dozing off in front of the tv, and she asked him to go to bed and sleep. he refused, and i bet now he's regretting that foolish decision because my mum immediately started nagging and telling him not to go over to the neighbour's hse to play anymore startin from tml onwards cos his holidays is endin and my mum wants him to study.

you see, his studies aren't good. ok. they're bad. he has maths tuition, but got F9 for Amaths and i think the rest of his subjects aren't strong either, cos my mum was demanding just a pass from him. i wonder if he knows he's lucky =_= if i had just a pass my mum wld have screamed the hse down.

anyway, she said, "Stop going out to play, i tell you! Tomorrow, rmb to take out ur TYS to do! For your next exam, you better get a pass or else...i'll take the cane out!"
"Cane? I'm sec.3 already, ok."
"Then just pass your exams!"
"Cane?"
"Just pass your exams! I've asked ur elder sis to teach you, but you refused. I'm already thinking of means to help you already ok, you better pass!"
"I got ask my cell leader ok! So if i still don't pass eh?"
"Cane la."
"I'm sec.3 already!"
"So? I don't see you workin hard. Unless I really see you workin hard."
"If I still don't pass? still cane?"
"Ya. Just pass your exams!"
"I'm always treated differently!"

**stomps off to room and whines to himself in bed. (mutters 'irritating!' when i enter)**

now this moody atmosphere is really sort of hanging around. i think my brother finally said what he has always thought, and my mum's hurt wondering how that is so. she's not exactly showing it, just looking at the tv, seeing but not watching.

for starters, i'd like to say my brother's quite an ass a lot of times. he used to be so cute, and has this reallly infectious laughter that cld make the whole family roll over on the floor. then, i'm uncertain if it's puberty or just sch, he's become like this grumpy old man once he entered Hong Kah, grunting his 'yes' and 'no', and keeping to himself like he's some secret agent and he's afraid if he even says a thing to us we might find out abt Operation Grumpy.

He doesn't study hard, eats, not snacks, but meals when he's studying, can't keep still, studies on his bed most of the time, does his maths hmwk just before the tuition teacher arrives. even the teacher can't stand his improper work.

so now i've painted my brother to be a lazy bad brother. but there are things that my parents expect of him that they don't expect of us, i must say. like fused bulbs and unscrewed appliances, they'd call my bro over to do it cos he's a guy. before he was this old and grumpy, my daddy did it all. i also feel it's not entirely his fault, how his studying methods have become. like listening to music while he does his hmwk? i dare say he got it from me, just that it's affecting him a lot more than it did me.

and my sis - she's the really hardworkin type. she'd sit at the table for hrs with the book open and taking notes and notes and piles of notes. i somehow managed to scrape pass although i don think i appear that hardworkin to my parents. for my bro, i think it has some part to do with the pressure he's feeling to keep up with us, and perhaps the feeling of letting my parents down and never doing anything right in their eyes.
academic: my sis just finished her Uni
art: he can't draw for nuts
music: he dumped his violin after just 1 or 2 years of learning, and you shld have seen how my mum fumed up. musical instruments aren't cheap.

my parents are treating him different, yes. but definitely not in a negative way. they'd repeatedly ask him if he wants tuition for this subject and that, you'd never hear them asking us. they'd nag him for results when they never do for us. i wonder if he thinks of these as my parents looking down on him or something.
i wish he'd understand and see it like i do. they really want him to succeed and find his niche.

it's probably all taking a toll on him, that's why he's more irritable nowadays.
i am irritated at him and rather unforgiving, yes. but i still wish my brother a deep-seated goal, that he'd soon find the path he wants to walk with passion, and that he'd not feel he has to match up to us. i admit i don't really see it now, but he used to be this really cute, laughter-filled sporty little brother in my mind. i also hope my mummy's distracted by the bad singing and she wldn't think so much.
i'm sorry :(

strangers

i can't draw shit today T_T even my stick figures look...a little worse than sticks


and i think...i like it when strangers talk to me (when i know they're not trying to hit on me)
although sometimes i just feel like stoning from yck to jurong all my myself ***builds wall round self*** cos i'm too tired to small talk with ppl, but. there's just something about strangers that's intriguing. i mean, yea, that's why they're called strangers. lol.

i think i forgot to blog about last monday, when i was on my way to sch in the train, when this lady sat beside me and started asking me about my pretty shoes ( :D *i gleefully beamed* ). from shoes, we talked on to other things, and i found out she's a piano teacher, likes sandals cos of the rain, wld buy my shoes but wld just end up staring at it and not using it, and always thinks her artwork is nice till the grades from the teacher comes back to her. lol. she's older than me, probably 20+, and we talked from jurong to yew tee. i even found out that she lived a block away from me :D haha. we even squeeled "EEew~!" at the same time when she was talking abt disgusting wet shoes :D

it was really really nice talking to her, albeit a complete stranger at first, but i felt we clicked really well :D when she left, i told her that i earnestly enjoyed talking to her, and she said that the feeling was vice versa, and she asked me to take care. she's so sweet :D
i wish i'd see her again

and there was this other time i was waiting for the train at jurong, and this guy came up to me and commented,"Beautiful day, isn't it?"
we talked till my train came - just about the weather :) then we waved goodbye and he left. i don't even rmb what he looked like. but it's really nice, this feeling of talking to strangers.

if everyone were like strangers..

today as i had a macs dinner with aman at 9pm in sch, i suddenly remembered what my uncle commented about my family. lol. it's about my grandma.
she alternates between 2 of my uncle's hse and mine, but whenever she comes over to mine, my parents will make her exercise and drink disgusting (but healthy) organic drinks and supplements. she knows the exercise is good, and she does it. she's become so much healthier over here in my hse :D! at first, she cld only climb 2 storeys, now she can climb 11!
so whenever she accomplishes amazing feats like that, my dad will tell my uncles so we all can encourage her to keep up her healthy lifestyle...but my uncle. lol. he said our house is like a boot camp. LOL. where we force my gramma to exercise and eat moderately. haha~ i thought that was such a funny comment.

anyway, spent a whole day in sch again. i'm having holidays, ya, in school -_-
had to go early today so Mr B cld teach us how to use Toonz software, an animation scanner, and....THE LUNCH BOX. haha. i'm soooo thoroughly amused by its name! And it's not a nickname that we gave it, it really is called the Lunch Box. It looks like a black metal lunch box (duh) except that it has lots of buttons. It's really a line test machine for our animation, and it's always there, so we wont need to scream for Mr B if we nid to test our lines. And it's not really a software, more like a machine, so we need not switch on the computers to test lines :D awesome.
:D the lunch box :D heh heh!

aft tat, i stayed in the Mac lab the whooooleee day just doing our damned CSS proj. rar. it looks ugly, and we cant really care much cos it's due on tuesday. it's 2 day animation T_T ugliness. i'll just throw screening it at the Chicago children's fest hope out of the window now.

and! scorpio was out tonight! so bright and clear aft the rain :D!

monday

had extra lessons from 9am-4pm o_o . oh gawd. 6 hrs of pure drawing kills my arms. soon you'll see a toned right arm and an extra flabby left one.

after lessons....
shopping with qiuyi! :D bra loves. lol. qy was carrying her cool dragon boat paddle and i was carrying my portolio walking ard town, and we drew so many weird stares. this shopkeeper's friend even offered to exchange 3 tops for her paddle....so he could use it to stir his nasi lemak =_='''. lol. poor qy was rather pissed at him.

for dinner we went to Han's and i'll never forget how that eew auntie was flirting with a transvertite wearin a dress, while she simply growled, "what do you wanna eat?!" when it was our turn =_='''.
aunties.
you can never fanthom how they see ppl. they like transverstites and bae yong jun. eew. so i suppose you cld say they like guyish girls, and girlish guys.

tuesday

perspective drawing class! not as bad as monday's figure drawing cos we got to sit down and rest our arms on the table. lol. Mr Brian is super nice :) he re-taught aman and i curvilinear perspective cos we had to go for the interview for the boston trip, so he repeated himself although we cld tell he was tired aft soooo many hrs of teaching. hooray for nice caring teachers! not to mention talented o_o quoting aman's fren, "His lines are straighter than straight, and his circles more circular than circles." He has like, some built in ruler in his arm, i tell u *_*

after lessons...
steamboat! RAR. the food totally sucks!!!! whoever chose that shop? which looked the most blah along the whole street of steamboats =_= next time, i wont say 'anything' anymore. I'LL CHOOSE.
but! the ppl were gorgeous :D almost the whole 4d1 was there. so nice! although i didnt get to talk to everyone, but eating dinner together is still bonding time, i say! :)

wednesday (today!)

it's supposedly homework day...but what have i done? nothing. lol. i got (very) distracted and watched anime =x from there, i got inspired by someone's tiny avatar so i drew this! it would have been much easier if damn avatars were bigger! rar.


kakashi's post took me close to forever =_= i kept getting his spine wrong. after like, 5 tries i finally got it! finally. i always draw stick figures first, then the naked bodies, then add on the clothes. sometimes it's a pity to add on the clothes cos the bodies look nice T_T
anyway, just a piece of fanart for this wonderful world cup mania! and curse channel 5 for showing so little games!!! (scv-less girl) i'm planning to color this when i get my tablet (if i ever get it T_T it's been aeons), so just lineart for now :)

time alone is always nice with you ard :)
dinner time~!

SHOPPING DAY xD ~~~!!!!

weee~~!!!! need i say more. lol. great day out shopping with mummy and sis today~!
i finally bought a pair of slip-ons! it's white with pink flowers. aw. totally sweet. i was so happy with it i changed into it once i bought it. i mean, compared to my falling-apart white sandals...my slip ons are GORGEOUS. wee~! and of cos, all the wonderful girl stuff. haha. pierre cardin rules x)

mummy, my sis and i scurried into the same changing room & you go Robinsons! x) their lingerie changing rooms are humungous with comfy carpets, big cushiony chairs - complete with mirrors on all 4 sides. makes you not wanna go out x) hehe.
we tried on our own stuff and were making so much noise inside i bet the sales person must have regretted letting the 3 of us go in together. it's kind of fun trying all those tasty designs with your mummy & sis *_*!
try it x)
(is this information overload already? i wonder. lol :P)

great singapore sales is a great way to bond toooo~! lol. i brought my mama & sis to eat subway (my sis' first and my mummy's second time) and they loveeeed it xD ! who wldn't rite. waaa! so high! i realise my sentense construction is rather blah today, but when u're so happy it's a little hard to settle down properly. **jumps around room cos i know my brother is safely locked away bathing**
polka dots are love *_*

damn. i love buying bras. LOL.

OMG. HAJI ROCKS MY WORLD *_* WHO DOESN'T LOVE A TALL GUY IN A SUIT PLAYING A CELLO?
YOU GOTTA BE NUTS.
*_* HAJI ROCKS MY WORLD !!!

:) and tall nice sweet thoughtful cashiers make my day~

aaahhh~!!!
i spent my day watching blood+. only watched till ep.7, but my day wasn't that long, considering i woke up so late =x cos drawing lecture was cancelled. it's always cancelled...
and omg. Saya's dad is so...nice. lol. the most touching part abt the anime is the daddy! *_* he makes me wanna cry. aw. everyone watch blood+ ! i wish Haji wld talk more too. i love it when he's playing his cello x) new love love love~!

---
count
these babbling
words
what do
they mutiply
why do you mystify
when it's really just me
babbling
countless counted counting words.
---
waiting for the sun to kiss the sea
waiting for pencils to become me
---
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
---

yes yes. i have so much to say nowadays. 2 posts a day!
well, aft a conversation with mada just now, i was reminded again of tennis guys and sexy voices (timothy, u're definitely not included xP) so i thought i cld get them out of my head by putting them on paper.

below's a quickie sketch of Ryoma. forgive me for the unlikeness cos it's a sketch of a picture of a picture of Ryoma from POT, and i don't watch/read it, so just forgive me k. oh, and a little bit of Urahara. Bleach is getting boring nowadays.

this is what ppl with no scanners do. they take a picture.
the quality isn't there :(

i want to go shopping. i need to go shopping. it's not my hols yet, i know. but ARGH. i just feel this crazy unhealthy urge to go out and buy some new sneakers, heels, slippers, sandals - more footwear pleaassse. did i tell you i have no more nice slippers to wear (i broke them all)? did i tell you my sneakers are wearin out? did i tell you my darling cloth pumps are old and dirty? did i tell you i don wanna go to boston and have the sole of my shoe drop out halfway? did i tell you my only pair of heels are like, 2 inch high and i feel reallllly unsafe wearin them out?

ohhh~ what better day to shop. a week away from my hols, just one assg left, my mummy's free and it's the great singapore sales. but rarrr. it's 2 pm and i'm still at home. (most of the time this means no shopping cos if my mum wanted to, we'd have headed out by 12. lol)
and you know what. i absolutely don't care anymore, so stop with the effort.

and omg. i saw 2 really good lookin (at least from the back, lol) tennis guys as i walked to the station at 9+ ytd. they'd just finished their game from the courts beside block L and omggggg. they looked so good! one had spikey hair like Daiya, and another had floppy, slightly curled hair. they were so tall and mascular and tanned! weehehe x) need i say more? too bad i didnt get to see their faces :(
i watched them all the way till the atrium (feels like a stalker once again) haha. it's interesting watching ppl walk.

the spikey haired guy had this 'that-was-a-good-game!' bounce in his steps, while the floppy haired guy had this very carefree 'i-wonder-what's-for-supper' swagger.
x) awww. so cute! x)))
and ooooh. testdrive started drawin again x))) oh, my lovely art, you're finally back!

x)) tennis guys are cute! x))) too cute xP ack! can't take it!

dang

i'm such a lazy ass. i woke up at 12+, ate lunch, watched ouran & read the papers, then went back to sleep at 3...and i just woke up :( i'm feeling so mega guilty and aft over 15 hrs of sleep today, my black eyes have yet to disappear.

and everytime i auto-pilot to deviantart, i just ITCH to have a tablet. like ARGGGGGH. like @#%#$%! i wanna have a go at it! all that awesome painting. ARGGGGGH. itching itching so bad *_* arrrgh.

AAARRRGGhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gawd. i feel so guiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllty *_*
i tell you. i'm gonna go crazy tonite and do my animation till whatever time it takes. not that i'd be able to sleep if i wanted to. ha.
arrrgggghhhh *_* why am i such an ass. WHY AM I SUCH AN ASS?!

dream away......