walk.

today i woke up emo (just a teeny bit) and decided i wasn't hungry.
i must have had a sad dream or something, or maybe it's just reading too much into stuff.
or maybe it's just my damn spoilt handphone. i shall take this opportunity to tell everyone who bothers to read this blog that :
MY HANDPHONE SCREEN IS SPOILT, PEOPLE. Please don't sms me cos i can't read a shit, but calls i still can pick up :)
p.s. timothy, i cldn't read what you sent me!

took my own sweet time just walking ard stoning, and wanted to make coffee to cheer myself up but i forgot to, cos i stoned for too long tat i had to have a rushed bath. then packed a thousand unneccessary things into my bag, all of which i didn't use today. it just killed my shoulder.

oh, please don't get my wrong. my life doesn't suck. i don't think so, and i know it's not so :) i'm just being emo for fun today. hurhur! and if you think your life sucks,
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

i trudged off to the mrt station lugging my heavy mind & bag along, then it started to rain. ppl get all wound up about not having a gf/bf, but really, sometimes it just feels so good having the umbrella all to yourself. the silence today was golden for me, sometimes the world is too noisy. or maybe it's just my brother. he was shuffling in and out of the room so loudly i woke up so many times today. rar.

anyhow, cos it was so quiet today, i could hear myself walk. it was a rather slow at first, having needing to step over puddles, but i soon got tired of that and just walked. the crunch of my sneakers got louder and louder, faster and faster.
then i realized that i really do like walking.
it's almost like i have a purpose, i know what i want, what i want to do, i have somewhere to go.
...and i can get there real fast if i want to. if only ppl would pay me to walk. i'd walk my whole life. walking means i have somewhere to go. or at least it means i've already thought of where i wanna go.
where do you want to go?

but! my sch is magic :) once i stepped in, i was no longer emo! or maybe it's just the rubbish ppl i hang out with, haha! my mum always says i collect too much rubbish, maybe if i showed her my friends she'd know why :)
they're the high-priced vintage stuff. lol.
drown myself in work, if i only could.

new stranger :D !!!

or neighbour, technically speaking. wahaha. i was walkin home from chi garden station yesterday and all the while there was this ang moh guy holding a green balloon walking behind me, around my age i'd think. when i entered my estate, he was still behind me and following me every step of the way nontheless (clara wld walk on mud just to take a short cut so ppl hardly follow me like he did.
then nearing my lift, a voice rang out:

"Since we're staying in the same block I thought I should say hello or something, in case you think i'm stalking you."

lol. i mean, tat tot did cross my mind but it was just a fleeting one, so i immediately replied tat i didnt think so and that its just tat i had nv seen him before. lol. he retorted by saying i probably don't even know the neighbours living on my floor cos quoting him "it's just not a Singapore thing". lol.

then we continued talking and he told me abt how noisy the cars on the road are and how he has a HAMMOCK (o_o i wan one too!) hanging by his balcony! we both then talked abt how we love how our area is so windy all yr round and i found out he lived on the 6th floor.
then just as we arrived at his floor, he tapped my head with the green balloon and said,
"I think you should keep this."

"o_o I should?"

and he just gave it to me as i stood dumbfonded waving at him with this open mouth.
T_T now i feel really stupid. lol. how retarded i must have looked. oh well, there's always a second chance to improve the impression i'm sure =x !

he even drew a face on the balloon xD! wahaha. =x my parents told me not to talk to strangers but they didnt say anything abt balloons, so i suppose taking home a balloon from a complete stranger (=x i mean, neighbour) is ok right? but yea, its all deflated now cos its the kind on a stick :( not lasting...

oh oh, talkin abt terrorist scares, yesterday as mada and i were walking into yck mrt station, we spotted this man in baggy grey shirt taking photos of all the cctvs in the station o_o we were kinda wary, and then scared ourselves into thinking wad if he bombs up the station?! we come by everyday, and we cld get ourselves bombed up into pieces o_o! the horror!

so when this mrt personnel walked pass us...we decided to tell her!
o_o gasp. and she told us...

... ...he's just a maintanence guy. -_-. lol.
oh well, at least i felt i've done my little bit in being a good citizen yesterday. lol. whew! those terrorists, got us on tenterhooks.

then i went out for subway dinner and another long talk, played the fireball, fell all over the place and on the way to the toilet at JE i met timoooothy and gang~ xD

it was a good day ytd! x) xD :D -scratchscratch- lotsa mosquitoe bites :/
smells like...

pictures :D xD ;) !!!

today...i went all the wayyyy to yio chu kang...only to learn that the damn elearning is not updated!!!! *ROARS & THUMPS CHEST LIKE KING KONG*
...so we slacked ard then waited for the voting of the SDN club board to get started. (i won a free 'The Art of Maya' book just by sitting there and raising my hands! Lady Luck shines very brightly on me today x) -hops ard in joy- and perry is upset he didnt get it instead)
...so while we waited for the meeting to start, we took pictures with the built-in cams on the macs at the back of the studio, wahaha xD!

the twirl effect!

color pencil effect!

the mirror effect! ( xD that's perrymerry the mouse in the middle)

the convex effect! ...and zal's big teeth...

...and his pregnant tummy (;

the new face of...THE HULK

...still showing off her mus-kles...

aliens are coming to abduct us!

the comic book effect!

and we even got Mr Bhakta to take a pic with us! (he's there in the upper left corner :D)


xD pretty fun day, and it helped that it rained and you were there :)!
plus que des mots :)

short message service.

for the past 5 days, my mum's cousin and her husband have been staying with us.
aka, my brother and i had to give up our room so they'd have a place to stay.
not that i'm grumbling a lot, really.
i've long learnt not to, cos what follows is a whole mass of nags that will clump at your ear for days if i just mouth a single complaint.
this is the weapon that parents hold.

so now my little sleep area is on my mattress on the floor beside my sister's bed.
i'm not the most adaptable of ppl, so change where i sleep and i'm all disoriented. i have this ill, fuzzy feeling like i'm home sick...like i'm sleeping in some chalet or hotel (far from it).
everyday i wake to a higher ceiling and the tap of phone buttons.
my sister's sending an sms. and when i typed that i started to wonder, what does sms even stand for?
- short message service.

why would people need to send each other short messages? why not long ones?
it must be because we all feel the need to prod first and watch the signs before stepping forward. we're all so scared. so after many prods, i think i'm now one feet and four toes into it. only one little toe is logical now.
now, after a long weekend i'm feeling lazy and idea-less. think of stories with alien, object and animal eh? MY BRAIN IS DEAD.

on sunday, i felt this sudden urge to see all my dear secondary school friends.
ah pang, sq, qy, hz, aud, meiyin, kl, xm...how far am i. how busy they are. how the end of the year never feels the same anymore ever since i came to poly.
holidays never smell as promising anymore, and dates are always scheduled when everyone's free, and i'm not. christmas is shorter and the new year is a deep shaky breathe of what lies ahead, nearer than ever.
it must sound mad, but i'm jealous how they get to study crazy hard for the A lvls together, and the euphoria they must share when it's all over and done with.
when they're all done, i'll have graphite dust at the sides of my palm, squiggling into the night with the bored whirr of the ceiling fan prodding quiet eyes that dart occasionally to that forgotten phone.

who am i kidding when i say there's nothing more to it?

fabulous sunday ytd x)
...till my words come back.

Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see you face to face
I worship you
In spirit and in truth

woke up early, wasn't late for church(!) and aft tat had a good talk with my lovely aud and bought some stuffs from bugis for someone! wahaha (;.
it was during the train ride home that i realize how long it's been since i went out and talked to aud! (partially cos she nv picks up my calls or returns missed calls xP)
we've all grown, and i wonder how the rest whom i haven't talked to in months are doing. how much have i missed? how much have you missed?

waha..ha. i've nthin to say! NOoooo. clara is running out of words.
well, till my words come back, bye (;

by blinded-by-the-light on deviant

ytd i went for a mooooovvviiie marathon at eli's hse!
wahaha. 3 movies isn't really considered a marathon, but it was fun nonetheless.
we ordered pizza, had honeydew, lots of apple juice, and home-made muachee! i personally can't stand mua chee, but i ate anyway cos eli's mum was standing there watching us eat the mua chee she made =x i secretly (or at least i hope it's secret) snuck quite a few onto zal's plate. peanuts and gooey sticky stuff. erh.

butttt a BIF FAT x) thank you, eli for ur wonderful hospitality x) ~!

...and...SCHOOL'S STARTING !!!

amazing how 6 weeks just flew past. did any of you think of tat? 6 weeks! that's one and a half months, and i have not one, no, not even half, a portfolio piece done T_T oh well.
good thing is :D this was such a fulfilling holidays. cleared up so much stuff, set my heart straight on God (or at least it's much better than before the hols) and played a ton! i have no more excuses not to work hard anymore x)

as hard as it is to let go, i'm going to.
many thanks to mada, ah yong, eli, shi han, perry & zal for making this hols so wonderful :D may we still be as chummy nx hols and to eternity and beyoooooooooond~

and take care ppl! don't let the haze get you down x)!

today wld be our 11th outing :)

Questions for God

Life and Love and Why

Could it be this
Could this be bliss
Could it be all that
I ever had missed
Could it be true
Can life be new
And can I be used
Could it be all that I am
Is in You
Can it be You
Can it be You

- by switchfoot

semstral briefing.

today, i went back to sch for semestral briefing.
it really was a mix of emotions for me.

hilarious - cos WE ARE GONNA GET P.E.
LOL. which poly actually gives P.E?! and only to their digital media students no less. we must really be slobs who sit in front of the computer all day. the only thing that's fit is our nimble fingers, which doesn't really help us pass our Napha.
i think they got so desperate to get the passing levels up they're implementing P.E lessons. hilarious. lol. every wed, and nx term it might increase to 2 times a week, depending on our fitness lvls, i think.
lol. P.E. who cld have foreseen that coming?
run, ppl, run :D !

aaaand! today got me thinking.
thinking about what i had when i first entered this course. all fired up to do assignments and all.
...and wad has become of me now.
yea, i guess how hard you work really shows up in your grades. my grades are deep down in the abyss cos i've been slacking my butt off, and i've made up my mind to work harder this term. work very much harder. like i would in my first term of sch - but maybe more. maybe back then, i was hungrier to learn, about all these new cool softwares i've nv even heard of, and now clara's got a little big headed and thinks she can take on the world. not anymore.

can i not think of anything else except God and Work,
& still care and love enough?

here goes, love.

finally! pictures from SENTOSAAAA (28th sept, thurs) :D


wow! gorgeous!


played frisbee for a while...


before going for a swim~! (in this pic, we had a really hard time holding up a 'U' shape while treading in deep water waiting for ah yong to take our picture. lol.)


and while we were taking a break from all the swimming, evil shi han tried to drag me back into the water. rar.


eli was playing with her happy ball...


chi yong took mada all to himself...


..then ate from mada's palm (literally) while going 'mooo'...


mada then took all our kisses


and posed with her boys. lol.


...and while we were walking to sakae for dinner, we saw something up there!
the moon :)
we went to watch musical fountain show aft tat but it looks kinda creepy in the photos, so i shan't post it up. lol. the lasers and lights looked really pretty real life though :)

it was a really good day i'd say! xD
________________________________________________

oh yes, friday was a good day too :), 6th october.
went to suntec to watch world trade center, had dinner with shi han and his friend who happened to be working at carrefour. shi han was eating terribly slow that day, so heh heh. we ganged up to tease him. even i ate faster! then we had marshmallows during the movie. it's been forever since i last ate marshmallows x)

then we bought some good ol' starbucks COFFEE went to this place and had a long talk.
i'm glad about how it is now :)
reached home half pass 1 and my parents didn't even bat an eyelid. i must be old. lol.

and last but not the least,

WISHING YOU A
FABULOUS
MARVELOUS
FUN
BLESSED BIRTHDAY TIMOTHYYYY !!!

GOD BLESS YOU :D !!!

i apologise for blogging whole huge chunks at once, but this is really nice *_* it made me tear. lol. maybe it's just damn hormones. it's by luminatii of deviantart
The writing on the bottom left corner:

She decided that there was nothing more beautiful than fogged up windows and "froid" days and listening to Autumn Leaves reverberating off the window panes as they cascade down from lighter branches against the rising of tea steam and things that come around just once a year - she was lucky if he came around once a month.

But it was enough, then. It was enough to hear better words and kiss like birds would if they could and pretend that tomorrow is only one day that is just very long and lasts until the next hello goodbye hello goodbye and until they'd listen to the same songs over and over, dancing on the kitchen floor trying to reenact the days when there were less wrinkles on their faces and smiles were more prominent.

I love you I love you I love you, they would say, and the lights would be down to a soft yellow and it would look even more like autumn that way - that way they could remember better. I'll never forget, they would say, and they never will.

Things like this aren't forgotten. These are things that can be left out on the street like a soggy newspaper in a Manhattan rainstorm and they'd still endure and perhaps even look better, given that little vintage effect that everyone is so fond of nowadays.

I'm saying, I think I love you; but I'd rather hide words and place them in boxes and write letters to no one than say a thing like that out loud. I want to protect it in my warm room with vapor on the windows with rain outside - cobalt, splatter, crack, drip: droplets hanging in midair like blown glass figures that someone left there and then forgot to put the batteries back in the clock so they're kind of just hanging around until I hear you at my door again.

There's romance in shades of brown and blue and gold - you'll see it when we're there on the sidewalk with a coffee and millions of memories under a fire truck red umbrella that can never really compare to the heat we've felt between cold sheets and winter evenings.

Breathe out and let me compare it to the engine's smoke at the station when we said goodbye all those times.

Hello again, dear.

We'll walk under the streetlights until we reach a place where miles have little significance and where people care little for numbers and ticking and arrows so you can tell me that you're holding me with a month's worth of loneliness and I'll smile and lipstick will be superfluous.

yes, updates :)

whew! 8 days since i last blogged. so many things going on inside and outside clara can hardly catch her breathe. not that i'm complaining of course x) let's start from 27th Sept.

that was a wednesday. i gave free maths tuition to one of my church friends. (hurhur, everyone knows clara is a maths idiot, but it was just NA maths =x not killing, even for me)
i was totally horrified at her basics but cooled down and got used to her aft an hr or so :) i think she got used to me too! so yea, i wldn't say it was a very productive afternoon with just 5 questions of stimultaneous eqns done, but well, i'll say i learned how to be a little more patient that afternoon and i'm just glad i helped x) i feel like giving her tuition again! haha. amazing.

then there was thursday!!! 28th Sept :D got to be the happiest sunny day this hols. i'm always complaining abt the heat, but when u're going to Sentosa, it's not the rain you want :D! rather fun, but i'd say its more of quality time than fun fun. went with my dearly loved poly mates, Mada, Ahyong, Eli, Perry Merry & Shi Han. we swam in the sea, mostly, had chips for lunch, swam again, went for dinner at Sakae, and went into this uber dark jungle trail. it was pitch black on the tiny dirt path shrouded with trees, and it was really scary T_T i was holding on to mada and shi han really tight. lol. i'll post up pictures and hopefully videos once i get them from mada! :D

then there was friday. i haf no idea wad i did then :S
then there was saturday. I WATCHED LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE.
EVERYONE GO WATCH IT PLEASE.
IT'S REALLLLLY NIICE :D
the family is so dysfunctional it's hilarious :) love!

then there was sunday (01.10.06). CHILDRENS' DAY x)
brought a friend to church (it made me confused), then went home to meet my parents so we cld go as a family to the Tung Lok restaurant at Keppel Club to celebrate my gramma's bday. had a lot of time to think aft tat but still didn't get anything sorted out, really. lol. talk abt brain shutdown durin my hols...

then there was monday, i went to sch for a briefing, nailed down our storyline, and had my first bite of Carl's Jr!
GIANT, I TELL YOU o_o
i secretly hid the bread buns halfway thru my burger in the paper wrap and ate the meat. perrry merry was so amazed at my awesome appetite...then chi yong sorta gave me away. lol.

tuesday! spent the whole day putting paper into envelope with shi han to help my aunt x) of course, a great motivation also came from the money that she's paying me. heh heh! it's the easiest part-time job i've EVER DONE.

same thing today, but as the seasoned envelope packing machine tat i become overnight, we completed it much faster today. 6000+ envelopes packed in 14hrs ++! *flexes my muscles* haha.

and *WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLL* T_T i went for a TRIM today. i told the hairdresser i want a TRIM. and bloody hell T_T she cut it so short la! i look like a little boy now. i keep telling myself i'll nv go cut again each time i go to the hairdresser, cos i wanna leave it long, but i always go back for more. stupid. the back is still long, but the front's so short it still looks like i have short hair T_T GAAAAAH.
T_T meh mehs. i want my hair BACK! COME BACK TO ME!
________________________________________________________

now for the part that really matters, ignore all the mind-numbing what-i-did-today-as-if-anyone-bothers rubbish aside :)

sch's starting. i don't know what i should do. i mean, besides the obvious, which is to concentrate on work. it's always so hard to put down all that play after...5 weeks of it. ok. clara is a big fat liar. not just the play part. lol. i can't put down everything else! it's like swimming, aft the first 2 laps, when your breathing is steady and your limbs move like a well oiled machine, you just want to swim till the grumpy old cleaner chases you out of the pool cos he wants to lock the gate. everything you do comes back to you, and its currently making me feel stupid.

Face to palm
Tear to tear
And
Mouth to tongue
Heart to ground