eating my salad.
today, my mum put mango in my salad. It was cold, soft, sweet & sour all at once.
Then it occured to me that my waiting for something to happen is just like eating mango. There's this sweet anticipation to it, i can't wait to see the results. Then, it's also sour cos i can't really stand waiting...and the more i wait, the more i wonder if i'm really prepared for it all :(
Waiting is also like cold mango cos it feels so good in your mouth, but once it's gone down the throat, it feels the same as any other food tat goes down. It's also soft cos it so subtly lures you to wait, and many of us don't even know we're waiting; it's smooth to touch, like how it always feels better to say "I'm waiting." rather than "I have nothing."...but at the end of the day when you apply pressure to this softness, you find it's actually quite hollow and it gives you no answer, just comfort in knowing it didn't hurl at you an answer you're not looking for.

so while i convince myself i'm actually waiting, i'm fighting the doubt that i'm really not prepared at all.